It's an incredulous feat for me to believe that tomorrow marks three weeks since the fire. Even after almost a month, it all still seems so surreal. I keep saying that I just can't wrap my brain around it, and it's true. I know that my house is gone, my possessions are gone, my kitty is gone, but deep down, it really hasn't quite hit yet. I still feel half as if I'm living someone else's nightmare, and half as if I'm on vacation.
Being with family is amazing, and it's so easy to forget that anything is amiss outside of the warmth of their love and their family. I LOVE being here. They've often said that they live in a bubble, and I'm so glad that I've been privileged enough to be a part of their bubble for the past three weeks. It's an amazing place surrounded by love and laughter. No wonder it's so easy to forget that my worldly possessions fit in one room and a personal box trailer.
Then I look at something simple, like my new bath mitt and realize, "Wow. Even THIS is gone. EVERYTHING is gone..." and I'm floored again. The terrible truth of what has actually happened comes rising to the surface again. I can't deal with it. I'm not ready to deal with it. I wonder if I'll EVER be ready to deal with it.... And if I CAN'T ever deal with it, how will I ever move on?