My head is still swimming. I'm still a ball of emotion. I still have a hard time seeing past the next hour, but that is getting better.
I need to start planning future events to help give me guide posts to get me through this. I'll use them to navigate my way as sailors use the stars to navigate.
I'm still hopelessly lost. Waves of emotion flow over me. They range from anguish over loosing my home and almost everything inside to joy in the many pictures being recovered to anger of those saying horrible things about the cause of the fire, to love and humility when thinking about all those helping to get us on our feet again. Then back to an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness when I try to figure out how to repay all of these people. Somehow, I don't think a cookie basket or a molten lava cake (as awesome as they are) will cut it as a thank-you....
I try to look towards the future and our new house with hope. I try to look towards a home that will be ours just the way we want it. ......I can't see it though.
I can't see forward and I can't see backwards. I can't even remember things that I used to make for dinner. I can only remember spaghetti sandwiches... That's what we were supposed to have for dinner that awful night.
I'm stuck on spaghetti sandwiches, and I can't move beyond. I can't see forward and I can't see backwards. I'm just stuck.