Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Dragonflies are pretty nifty. The spend the first part of their lives swimming underwater. They're pretty vicious predators too. They'll eat mosquito larva, baby fish and sometimes even tadpoles.
When they get to be bigger larva, they're kinda ugly/scary looking. They're brownish gray in color, have these long, skinny arms, big googly eyes and what looks like a pincher on their tail. They're certainly not anything with which I'd like to do battle.

Then, when they're old enough, they pull themselves out of the water onto a rock, branch or other sturdy thing, and they shed their ugly, scary, brown-gray bodies to reveal an amazingly beautiful creature. They're usually green, blue or other bright colors. But even the "plain" brown ones have an amazing daring, yet graceful beauty to them. It's amazing to think that something that started out so plain, so rough can turn into something so different.

But at the same time, you have to wonder: does it hurt when the dragonfly is shedding it's skin? How hard must it be to crack your shell open wide and pull yourself out of it? Just think about how hard it is to get out of a wetsuit, and then multiply that by a thousand.
Also, once the dragonfly leaves it's underwater life, it can't go back. It trades the water currents for air currents. Both of which are amazing, but both are very different lives.

I was lucky enough the other day to see a dragonfly as it was emerging from it's shell of an old life. I watched as it sat on the rock and dried it's wings. It was a pretty surreal picture to see the beautiful green dragonfly with glistening wings sitting on the empty shell of the "ugly" creature that it had just previously been.

Then I started thinking of myself. I've been having a really hard time of things lately, and I just haven't been able to make them anything but worse. I went down to the river, actually, to clear my mind; to let the currents wash away all of the bad. And that's when I saw it, and that's when it hit me.

No, change isn't ever easy. Change doesn't always happen intentionally. It sometimes is just a process which you go through, and you don't know how or why, and while it seems destructive, it's all a part of the growth process. Do you really think that the dragonfly larva knows why it's crawling out of the water, cracking it's skin open and crawling out of it? No. It just knows that something inside of it says, "Do this..." and it acts without thinking. It just does.
Anyway, I know that I was placed at the right place at the right time. This transformation of the dragonfly is something which I was meant to see. It was much like my life at the moment. It was hard and full of chaos, but when I finally emerge, people won't see me as the same person that I was before. I'll trade my old ways for new ways (water for wind). The new roads ahead of me will be will sometimes be dangerous (as were the old ones), and I'll find new foe, but I'll be safe(er) from the old ones, but they'll be amazing and exciting nonetheless.
Once my wings dry and I take flight, I'll be an amazing sight to see.
All thanks to the growth that happens in chaos.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Lightning Bugs

Tonight was a beautiful night. I'm so glad too because I took Things One and Two out to several different stores, and they were HORRIBLE! I was quite relieved to be home, and to throw them into Daddy's care. And they were more than happy to go into his care, as he had promised to take them in the pool tonight.
When it was time to get out of the pool it was just starting to get dark, and the lightning bugs were just starting to come out. First it was a twinkle here and a twinkle there (and a Thing Two telling me that she had to go TINKLE), but then suddenly the whole back yard was filled with what seemed to be hundreds, no thousands, no MILLIONS of lightning bugs. It was AMAZING!
By this point in time, Thing One had gotten out of the pool. Thing Two still had not yet made it inside because she was too busy trying (and succeeding) to catch lightning bugs. They were maybe even just as excited about all of the twinkling in the yard as I was. I think that the Hubbs thinks that I'm more than just a little crazy now because I was sooo amazed and excited by all of the lightning bugs in the yard. However, it was just one of those times that made me extra thankful for being able to see, and thankful for all of the amazing gifts from God, because, too see these beautiful, amazing specks of light sitting and flitting through my backyard, well, it was an amazing gift. It's one that I hope that I don't soon forget, as I doubt that I'll see a lightning bug fest like that again.
It was also a gift that made me think of (feel) my Dad. I don't know if it's because it's getting to be July almost or no... Things like that make me think of him though. They make me feel (him) a little closer to him. Things like rainbows, warm breezes though the woods, millions of lightning bugs in the backyard, deer running through my neighborhood (I live in Suburbia. There are very few woods left here, so it's an unusual thing to see them here.), things like that. (These are not to be confused with things that make me THINK of him.)
It was such an amazing and fun thing to see. I wish that I would have had it on video. I can only hope that it foreshadows all of the wonderfully amazing things to come this summer.